Father of the Bride
Chapter One
When my little girl was born and I realized with relief that she had inherited her mother’s looks not mine I could see into the future to this day. Even so I guess it came too soon. I’m delighted for her happiness but obviously a bit obtuse as to what is in store. I pretty much thought that all that would be required of me would be to rent a tuxedo and sing ‘That’s Amore” to the guests. Since I already own a tux then I only needed to perfect my vocal arrangements.
But for an old coot I have apparently been exposed for a very childish naiveté as to what’s really involved. One thing I had not anticipated was the necessity to prepare for the arrival of out of town relatives by sprucing up the old homestead. Usually this would involve putting the barbecues grates in the oven and turning on self clean, but this time not hardly. Apparently I have been assigned the task of creating a misleading impression for the out of towners. This involves patching holes in the plaster, painting over hand and paw prints, removing perfectly good cardboard from broken windows and replacing it with glass, towing away abandoned vehicles, and discarding my collection of worn out disc brake pads.
The dogs need to be enrolled in charm school (under assumed names due to having been blacklisted) and since it’s to be a July wedding I have been urged to take down the Christmas lights.
I’m thinking of renting a leaf blower.
After all, it’s my only daughter.
When my little girl was born and I realized with relief that she had inherited her mother’s looks not mine I could see into the future to this day. Even so I guess it came too soon. I’m delighted for her happiness but obviously a bit obtuse as to what is in store. I pretty much thought that all that would be required of me would be to rent a tuxedo and sing ‘That’s Amore” to the guests. Since I already own a tux then I only needed to perfect my vocal arrangements.
But for an old coot I have apparently been exposed for a very childish naiveté as to what’s really involved. One thing I had not anticipated was the necessity to prepare for the arrival of out of town relatives by sprucing up the old homestead. Usually this would involve putting the barbecues grates in the oven and turning on self clean, but this time not hardly. Apparently I have been assigned the task of creating a misleading impression for the out of towners. This involves patching holes in the plaster, painting over hand and paw prints, removing perfectly good cardboard from broken windows and replacing it with glass, towing away abandoned vehicles, and discarding my collection of worn out disc brake pads.
The dogs need to be enrolled in charm school (under assumed names due to having been blacklisted) and since it’s to be a July wedding I have been urged to take down the Christmas lights.
I’m thinking of renting a leaf blower.
After all, it’s my only daughter.
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